Longing and Transcendence
We all have a natural longing for the other polarity or completeness within us. This longing goes beyond just sexual desire - it is an emotional yearning for the missing part of ourselves. When this longing is not satisfied, it can lead to deep unhappiness, especially if we are still totally identified with our physical and psychological form. In some traditional cultures, not finding a partner and fulfilling one's identity as a man or woman is seen as a complete failure, leading to being looked down upon and despised. The sense of self is so strongly tied to gender roles that not conforming is unacceptable. However, in the West, there is more freedom to choose not to get married or have children, even if the underlying longing remains. Even if we do find a partner, if we have not gone beyond our form identity and encountered the transcendent dimension of who we truly are, we will still not be satisfied in the relationship. The spiritual dimension is vital. Our mind-made sense of self tends to focus more on the negative than the positive, trapping us in a cycle of longing and dissatisfaction.
It is possible, though, to notice the sense of lack on the level of form without being consumed by the longing. Maintaining a spaciousness around the longing, rather than being trapped in it, is important. The longing may persist, and it no longer possesses us and makes us into unhappy, bitter people. Taking action to meet people, such as exploring conscious dating options, can be helpful. However, the transcendence of our form identity is the most vital thing. Any outer action should come from that inner spaciousness, not neediness. When we approach others from a place of wholeness rather than lack, we are more likely to connect authentically. The path to true freedom lies in awakening to who we are beyond our history and life situation. We are not just our physical bodies or psychological identities - there is a deeper dimension to our being. Accessing this transcendent aspect allows us to hold the longing for the other with compassion, rather than being defined by it.
Navigating the Longing for Wholeness
As we navigate the longing for wholeness, it is important to remember that we are not alone. This longing is a universal human experience, shared by people across cultures and time periods. What differs is how we relate to and respond to this longing. In some traditional societies, the failure to fulfill one's gender identity through marriage and childbearing was seen as a personal and social catastrophe. The sense of self was so tightly bound to these roles that not conforming was unthinkable. Imagine the immense pressure and shame that must have been felt by those who did not fit the mold. Thankfully, in the modern West, there is more freedom to choose alternative paths. We are not as rigidly defined by our gender or relationship status. And yet, the underlying longing for the other polarity, the missing piece of ourselves, can still be deeply felt. The key is to not get trapped in that longing, to not let it consume us and define us. We can acknowledge the sense of lack on the level of form, the emotional and sexual desire for connection, without being overwhelmed by it. By maintaining a spaciousness around the longing, we create the possibility for true fulfillment. This fulfillment, however, does not come from finding the "perfect" partner who completes us. Even in the context of a loving relationship, if we have not gone beyond our form identity and encountered the transcendent dimension of who we are, we will still not be satisfied. The spiritual aspect is essential.
Transcending the Form Identity
Our form identity - the physical body, the psychological persona, the social roles we play - is only one aspect of who we are. Beneath the surface of these shifting identities lies a deeper, more essential dimension of our being. This is the transcendent aspect, the "I am-ness" that is not defined by any particular form. Awakening to this transcendent dimension is the true path to freedom and fulfillment. When we are no longer trapped in the mind-made sense of self, focused on the negative and the lacking, we can begin to access a more expansive, compassionate way of being. The longing for the other polarity, for wholeness, does not disappear entirely. And it is no longer an overwhelming force that consumes us. Instead, it becomes a gentle pull, an invitation to explore the mystery of our own being. We can hold the longing with tenderness, without being defined by it. And from this place of inner spaciousness, we can take action in the world to meet people and explore conscious connections. And this action is no longer driven by neediness or desperation. It arises from a place of self-acceptance and wholeness.
Embracing the Journey
The journey of transcending our form identity and accessing the deeper dimensions of our being is not an easy one. It requires a willingness to let go of the familiar, the comfortable, and to venture into the unknown. It means facing our fears, our insecurities, and our deepest longings with courage and compassion. And in doing so, we open ourselves to a profound transformation. We discover that we are not just our physical bodies, our psychological histories, or our social roles. We are something much vaster, much more mysterious and awe-inspiring. And as we embrace this journey of self-discovery, we may find that the longing for the other polarity, for wholeness, begins to shift. It no longer dominates our experience, and becomes a gentle invitation to explore the depths of our own being. In the end, the path to fulfillment is not about finding the "perfect" partner or achieving a certain relationship status. It is about awakening to the transcendent dimension of our being, and learning to hold all of our experiences, including our deepest longings, with a spacious and compassionate heart.
SUMMARY
There is a natural longing for the other polarity or completeness in a human being, which goes beyond just sexual longing. This emotional longing for the other can lead to unhappiness if it is not satisfied, especially if one is still totally identified with their physical and psychological form. In some traditional cultures, not finding a partner and fulfilling one's form identity as a man or woman is seen as a total failure and leads to being looked down upon and despised. However, in the West, there is more freedom to choose not to get married or have children. Even if one finds a partner, if they have not gone beyond their form identity and encountered the transcendent dimension of who they are, they will still not be satisfied in the relationship. The spiritual dimension is vital. It is possible to notice the sense of lack on the level of form without being consumed by the longing. Maintaining a spaciousness around the longing, rather than being trapped in it, is important. Taking action to meet people, such as exploring conscious dating options, can be helpful. However, the transcendence of one's form identity is the most vital thing, and any outer action should come from that inner spaciousness, not neediness. The mind-made sense of self tends to focus more on the negative than the positive. Awakening to who one is beyond their history and life situation is the path to true freedom.
KEY POINTS
There is a natural longing for the other polarity or completeness in a human being, which goes beyond just sexual longing. This emotional longing for the other can lead to unhappiness if it is not satisfied, especially if one is still totally identified with their physical and psychological form.
In some traditional cultures, not finding a partner and fulfilling one's form identity as a man or woman is seen as a total failure and leads to being looked down upon and despised. However, in the West, there is more freedom to choose not to get married or have children.
Even if one finds a partner, if they have not gone beyond their form identity and encountered the transcendent dimension of who they are, they will still not be satisfied in the relationship. The spiritual dimension is vital.
It is possible to notice the sense of lack on the level of form without being consumed by the longing. Maintaining a spaciousness around the longing, rather than being trapped in it, is important.
Taking action to meet people, such as exploring conscious dating options, can be helpful. However, the transcendence of one's form identity is the most vital thing, and any outer action should come from that inner spaciousness, not neediness.
The mind-made sense of self tends to focus more on the negative than the positive. Awakening to who one is beyond their history and life situation is the path to true freedom.