The Barriers to True Love

When we seek genuine spiritual insight, we must understand that it requires love and discernment, a deeper way of seeing the world around us. Only authentic God people will recognize the true prophets from the false. [1] This statement reveals an essential truth: discernment in the spiritual life is not merely about judgment or intellect, but about love. It’s love that enables us to look beyond the surface, to see through the distractions and divisions that often cloud our perception. Without love, even the most profound teachings can be misinterpreted, misunderstood, and distorted. In a world where opinions and ideologies divide us, love is the force that can help us understand what is real and what is true. It’s the foundation of our ability to discern and connect with the divine presence in others, no matter how different they may seem. Only when we approach the world through love do we begin to see things clearly. (1 John 4:8)

At the same time, we must acknowledge that negative, cynical, or mistrustful attitudes toward religion are often rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding or a projection of our human flaws onto the Divine. People who are already negative, cynical, or mistrustful tend to dislike religion and spirituality, even if they go along with them for familial or cultural reasons. [1] This is where many people struggle with faith: they’ve been hurt by others, and in their pain, they project that hurt onto God. The idea of a loving and just God becomes distorted because of the injustices they’ve experienced at the hands of people. But this is not the true nature of God—it’s a reflection of our human brokenness. It’s a misinterpretation based on past wounds. When people come to me with complaints about God, I often find that the God they are rejecting is not the God I believe in either. And that’s where the work of transformation begins: in moving beyond these projections, in reimagining the Divine as a source of unconditional love, not as a mirror for our human pain. (Matthew 7:11)

When we think about the path of spiritual growth, we see that love is the gateway to transformation and understanding. Already well-loved and loving people tend not to react against religion or spirituality. [1] People who have been touched by love, who know what it means to give and receive love, are often the ones who are most open to spiritual teachings. Love does not create barriers; it opens us up to the fullness of life and spiritual connection. Those who have experienced love are not bound by the same resistance that many others feel towards religion. In contrast, when we allow hatred or resentment to take root in our hearts—whether toward others or even toward the idea of God—it becomes much harder to grow spiritually. We close ourselves off from the transforming power of love. It’s through love that we are able to truly open ourselves to the deeper mysteries of life, and it’s love that ultimately allows us to see the divine in all things. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

However, when we let certainty and dogmatism enter our spiritual lives, we risk losing the very essence of what religion is meant to be: a liberating force. If we project either our wrath or our moral capitalism onto God, the first thing to be destroyed is religion itself. [1] This is a profound truth: when we allow wrath, rigid morality, or the need for control to shape our understanding of God, we destroy the very thing that was meant to set us free. Religion, at its core, is meant to offer liberation, not oppression. But when we replace love with judgment and self-interest, we turn religion into a tool of domination, something that diminishes rather than uplifts. We must recognize that these projections are not the way forward; they are the obstacles that keep us from experiencing the true liberating power of faith. It’s a constant challenge to remain open to the transformative, expansive nature of religion while avoiding the temptation to control or exclude others. (John 8:32)

True faith, in its deepest sense, does not rely on certainty but on trust and openness. Please remember that certainty—not doubt—is the opposite of faith. [1] Faith is not about holding tight to a set of dogmatic beliefs or rigid answers; it’s about being open to the mystery of life and trusting that, even in uncertainty, there is divine presence and wisdom guiding us. Those who demand certainty, who insist on having all the answers, are often seeking control, not love. But faith is not about control. Faith is about surrendering to the unknown and trusting that love will lead us through. It’s in this surrender that we find true connection with the Divine. The true essence of faith is the willingness to trust in what we cannot see, knowing that love and grace will guide us on the journey. (Hebrews 11:1)

Finally, we must confront the fact that the obstacles to love in our world often stem from destructive forces like certainty, wrath, and moral capitalism. Historians agree that much violence in human history has been religiously based, the predictable collision of two absolutely certain or dogmatic worldviews. [1] This statement underscores how dangerous it can be when people cling to rigid worldviews, convinced that their perspective is the only correct one. When these certainties collide, especially in religious contexts, they can lead to violence and division. We see this throughout history: the wars, the conflicts, the pain, all rooted in the need to be right, to assert one’s own superiority. These obstacles to love—certainty, wrath, self-interest—must be eliminated if we are to move toward a more loving and compassionate world. It is only by letting go of these divisive forces that we can truly embrace the power of love, both in our own hearts and in our interactions with others. (James 4:1)

[1] Richard Rohr, The Tears of Things